Okay, I'm probably, like, the last person in the world to realize this, but when they make a movie out of Neil Gaiman's Sandman you know Desire is going to be Amanda Palmer, right?

The part of Dream may or may not be go to Siouxsie Sioux.

1. So, wow, how delayed am I, huh? Anyway, another recap/transcript post, because it seems my journal has been entirely taken over by Kings. Not sure how I feel about that. But I do know how I feel about cirrocumulus, who was brilliant and majestic and joined me for an evening of hilarious chat shenanigans as we watched together. THIS LADY, PEOPLE, I CANNOT EVEN. ♥ JSYK, all the funny bits are hers.

2. Guys! I have had a FABULOUS IDEA. Solo recapping, while interesting, has always been kind of a chore. So instead, I shall simply commandeer one of my Kings-related flist people for an evening of joint viewings. The recaps will be our chat excerpts. I usually watch the episodes on Sunday, Monday latest—if you want to join me for a chat-viewing, comment saying so! I would love nothing better than to share 45 minutes of hilarifying television with one of you fine fellows, by gosh.

3. And now, to the transcripts, which are a little mocking and a lot silly and contain, against all odds, Captain James Kirk.

( RECAP FOR KINGS 108: THE SABBATH QUEEN )

I am mere paragraphs away from finishing my first serious translating gig for the summer, which is 25 pages (i.e. the entirety of chapter 7) in a professional psychotherapy book called Cognitive-Behavioural Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder, by Marsha M. Linehan (1993). It'll be an awesome clause in my future resumé, not to mention 500 shekels in my pocket.

And the only thing I can think is, ONLY AT THE COST OF TAR ON MY SOUL.

Seriously, guys. I-I can't even begin to describe how awful this job was. Remind me one day, when I've got nothing to do and am feeling particularly cruel, to put up paragraphs from this book, and explain the process necessary in order to translate them into intelligible Hebrew. You'll shit bricks.

That aside, I have downloaded the new Kings episode—more or less—and am already impatient to watch it. However, I quail at the thought of facing my doom alone. WHO'S ONLINE AND WANTS TO HIT ME UP FOR A CHAT, KINGS PEOPLE? I am available on MSN, AIM and Gchat, plus am desperate for company.

Saturday's Kings episode was so bad I'm not even going to write a recap for it. Seriously, not worth it. Instead, have some transcripts from sabrina_il's and my chat, capturing my live reactions to the episode. Kudos to her for being patient with my flailing while simultaneously writing porn.

( RECAP FOR KINGS 107: BROTHERHOOD )

1. I write to you sprawled out lazily on jamie_dakin's rumpled bed, after something like 11 hours of uninterrupted sleep in the wake of a day's alcoholic, hedonistic revelry. This is just as incriminating as it sounds.

Well, no, I didn't sex up one of my best friends in a fit of lust-driven insanity: yesterday was the ( Israeli Gay Pride Parade. )

2. The seventh Kings episode is going to air today, after nearly two months of hiatus! This, I feel, is excellent news indeed. To celebrate, I shall post the first chapter of a multi-part epic which, uh. Well, let's just say I planned on finishing it by the time the show re-aired, but you know what happens with me and schedules. Anyway, Kings people, look to anomylic today and be prepared to completely disregard canon. :D

3. I gots meself a summer job! Several, in fact, but translating gigs and the occasional scenery-building project aside, I am now humbly employed at the Leggenda ice cream shop, which I think is charming in its own right. There is Naama, who is my cousin's girlfriend and training me to be the Best Ice Cream Server Ever ("gotta scoop 'em all!"); Tzlil, senior waitress and secret closet military drill commander; and Alex, the operator of the ice cream machine out back, who sings along at the top of his voice to growling death metal while lovingly decorating mountains of strawberry-rum ice cream with marzipan butterflies.

We are a crew made of badass, in up to twenty delicious sugar-free flavours. The only downside is I'm going to have to double my weekly exercises if I plan on keeping anything remotely resembling my current figure. :/ SIGH GUYS, LIFE IS HARD.

4. jamie_dakin's roommate is now banging around in the kitchen and cursing his coffee maker. This is an ongoing, ages-old war between man and machine. I'd better go see who's won this round. Ta, eljay! Have a very gay day. ♥

1. The history final is over, and I want to WEEP WITH JOY.

2. Does anybody else have Stephen Fry's audiobook version of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? I've been falling asleep to it and that shit is AWESOME. His Marvin and Zaphod voices are to die for, seriously.

3. LO AND BEHOLD, I PRESENT YOU WITH:

THE QUINQUAGENARY COMMENT FIC MEME

anomylic has just reached the fifty-watchers mark, and it's time to celebrate! In honour of this occasion, I have allowed myself to maul some Latin. Now it's your turn: go forth, be merry, and give me your best shot. ♥

HEY FLIST, I just passed my Literature final! It was awesome! I totally compared S.Y. Agnon to Shakespeare but who cares! Also, I used lots of Aramaic; that's supposed to get you points for intellectual pretentiousness, in which case I should get a score of about ten thousand.

So, you know, that was fun and all. Right now my recent finals grades are all either 100 or 99 (curse you, Math) which is several sorts of awesome. But, SIGH, there is a downside to all this! Sunday is my second-to-last History final, and to make sure I keep up this streak of aces I'm going to have to sit down and study my ass off the whole week. In fact, I was planning on starting ten days ago, but you know what happens when you give me internet access. Therefore I am depriving myself of intertubes COMPLETELY until the 7th of June. If you see me online, for god's sake kick me off like Captain Falcon performing an abortion.

( Let's all practice that together. )

Hint: One of us is Solid Snake in that picture, and it's not me.

YOU GUYS, OH MY GOD, YOU GUUUYS

THE SULTRY mercuriazs HAS JUST RECORDED A PODFIC OF MY CONSTANTINE FIC, TAKING ALL THE AWKWARDNESS AND BAD GRAMMAR AND GENERAL IMMENSE FAIL AND TURNING IT INTO PURE SEX.

HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER, AND MELTING IN QUIVERING AROUSAL EVERY TIME. OBVIOUSLY, SO SHOULD YOU. THIS GIRL NEEDS TO BE A VOICE ACTRESS; I WOULD WATCH ENTIRE SERIES JUST TO LISTEN TO HER HAVING SEXUAL CHEMISTRY WITH A MICROPHONE.

Just Another Scene in a Bar. Constantine. John/Balthazar. 3700 words. R.

“Let’s make one thing clear in this conversation, asshole. We’re not going to have sex.”

LISTEN TO THE PODFIC.

My weekly alms of grace. Listen—it's worth your time. A prayer in the form of a psalm in the form of an elegy, bereaved and vibrant all at once. Musical arrangement and performance by Mati Caspi and Shlomo Gronich. Song downloadable here.

my father’s death / yehuda amichai my father suddenly from all the rooms departed to his strange expanses he walked and walked to call his god that he may come to help us now and god already came like a guest hung up his coat on the moon’s hook but our father who went to lead him god will keep forever by his side.

מות אבי / יהודה עמיחי אבי פתאום מכל החדרים יצא למרחקיו המוזרים הלוך הלך לקרוא לאלוקיו שהוא יבוא לעזור לנו עכשיו ואלוקים כבר בא כמו אורח תלה את מעילו על וו ירח אך את אבינו שיצא להובילו יחזיק האלוקים לעד אצלו

SO BELATED, O-OH GOD. But hey, who cares? If there's anything worth commemorating, it's Queen Rose's post-coital expression. NOM.

( RECAP FOR KINGS 105: JUDGEMENT DAY )